Over spring break I was unfortunate enough to find the film Zombeavers on Netflix. My interest and curiosity were indubitably peaked when I read the title and also saw a snapshot from a scene. I decided on that fateful night that I just simply had to watch Zombeavers... regardless of any lasting impact it could have on the audience.
This movie shockingly has a rating of 69% on Rotten Tomatoes. This indubitably deceived me considering how awful it was and I would have estimated a score of 25% maximum. I honestly do not even know where to begin critiquing this movie so I will instead start by providing a synopsis. The film starts with two truck drivers having an extremely stupid and inappropriate conversation that I can't even write about. Their truck is hauling several containers of radioactive waste and the guys have to suddenly stop short to avoid running over some deer. When they stop, one of the waste containers falls out of the flatbed and miraculously finds its way into a nearby body of water. On top of that, the radioactive waste decides to stop rolling right on top of a beaver dam (how convenient). Then these three obnoxious and stereotypical sorority sisters arrive at a cabin located next to what is presumably the same lake/pond and instantly start complaining about not having wifi. Eventually the three boyfriends of these girls arrive unannounced and are surprisingly even more moronic. All of the college kids decide to go for a quick swim to test the waters but they had no idea what lurked beneath. Zombeavers, innocent and cute beavers transformed into mutated beasts were hiding in the shadows, waiting to attack, waiting to deceive. The remainder of the movie depicts a group of pea brained beavers outsmarting six college students and I won't spoil what happens to them or how it ends. All I can say is the best part of the movie is when you realize that one of the truck drivers from the beginning of the film is actually John Mayer wearing a fake mustache and a wig.
From an objective standpoint, every single aspect of this movie is absolutely dreadful. The plot is horrendous, tacky, and cliche. How many movies are out there of people getting stuck in a cabin and attacked? The actual production is so poorly executed and funded and results in the editing, audio, and so forth being low quality. The special effects are in fact non existent- the zombeavers are physical toys or dolls that look like a class of first graders made them while being blindfolded. If you still can't take a hint, the film length is only 1 hour 17 minutes. You know that's not a good sign.
Subjectively, the humor is just as bad as everything else. The jokes are almost all sexual and incredibly immature. If you enjoy this type of humor like I do, then you're in luck. But the jokes are for the most part so poorly delivered or timed that you can't be sure whether to laugh at the content or just how bad the writing is. Overall, my final rating of Zombeavers is BAD, BAD. If you are a believer in the phrase "so bad that it's good", then I strongly encourage you to watch this film. If not, then stay as far away from this movie as possible- and next time think twice before going swimming.
Here is the trailer... watch at your own risk. It is uncensored and very crude https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSBUF15zny8
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